Sunday, October 26, 2008

...sOmeTiMeS i fEeL LiKe i'M LiViN iN a fUn hOuSe fiLLeD wiTh miRRoRs...

Have you ever been to carnival and looked into the "funhouse mirrors"? Well, somedays I feel like every mirror I pass is a fun house mirror. My mind is warped and so what I see is warped as well. I grew up never feeling pretty. I even had a boy tell me I was "UGLY" in junior high school in front of the entire class...what I wouldn't give to see him today!!! I grew up feeling like my Mom didn't like me...and my dad bought me diet pills in junior high. My mom and dad love me...that's not the point of all paint this sad pitiful story...I'm just trying to give some explanation as to why I just can't seem to EVER be happy with the reflection I see in the mirror.

The past week has been especially bad. I look in the mirror or I see a picture of myself...and I want to scream! I feel like I look so much bigger...fatter...but ALL my clothes fit me the same as they have. People tell me I look great, but that's not what I see in the mirror. I see wrinkles and a crooked nose. It could literally drive me crazy if I let it. I SO want to change the way I see myself. I SO want to see a beautiful reflection in the mirror.

1 comment:

Shorty said...

Your new mantra...."I am beautiful exactly as I am!" Now, say it 10 times in a row in your head. Then say it 20. Then say it 50. Do this everyday and brainwash yourself with positive thoughts. Don't let the negative win, girl. You wouldn't let a boy beat you in the gym, so don't let the mental b.s. bring you down outside of it. You can do this!!!