Friday, October 31, 2008

...hErE wE gO aGaiN...

I have a knack for losing things. I can NEVER find my keys. I misplace important papers. I have to call my cell phone on a daily basis so that I can figure out where I last left it. It's a little annoying, but I'm used to it...and I just deal with it. Unfortunately, I have a knack for losing more important things as friends.

I must say that it's not like my friends and I get into a fight and go our separate ways. That might not be as bad I guess...because I would feel some sense of control then. Instead, I make friends with people that end up making major life changes and moving away. "Losing" is probably not the best word to use, because they remain my's just the we are not as close in we "lose" the ability to see each other as we have. When I "lost" heart was broken. I missed him more than I ever thought I would. I counted the days til he would be back...but plans changed and I realized he wouldn't be back at all. Again...sad...but I learned to deal with missing my friend because he was happy and that's what I wanted for him.

So, me and A (W's brother) became friends. We both worked at the same gym and sometimes we workout together. We've gone to lunch and we have a lot of fun together. He brings out a crazy side of me...I feel like a goofy 17 year old at times because I do the silliest, air-headed things when I'm around him. Sometimes, he makes me wanna strangle him...BUT overall...we have a great time together and he makes me laugh...hard.

A is moving out of the country in a few days. I won't be counting days this time, because I know he will not be back. A and I have not known each other or spent as much time together as me and W did. While we are good friends, we are not as close as W and I are. BUT I will really miss him. I'll miss working out. I'll miss laughing...loud and hard. I'll miss his cocky ways (that's a compliment in my book). I'll miss his helpful suggestions when lifting weight. I'll miss how he is always quick with a hug or a compliment.

I keep telling myself that this is good...that he will be happy...but then the selfish side of me emerges and I start to feel sad. I feel sorry for myself and wonder why...why can't I find a girlfriend that I have as much fun with as I do with my "boys"?...why do my friends go away?...why do I get so attached to people? I just feel like I'm having deja vu. Even though I don't spend as much time on a daily basis with A as I did with W...I'll still really miss his friendship.

Here we go again. Luv ya A...good luck my friend!

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