Tuesday, November 11, 2008

...BEHOLD!...tHe pOwEr oF bOObs!...

I've been thinkin about boobs a lot lately...about the power they hold over some men. The interesting thing is that big fake boobs used to be shocking...unusual. NOW...they are common place. In fact, I think that these days it seems like women are weird if they are SMALLER than a D cup. I mean, I have a C cup and I feel like I'm small some days! also find it AMAZING that a woman can have a...LESS than beautiful face...or even (sorry to be a catty girl) an UGLY face...but if she's got a nice, big set of boobs...a lot of men will think she's "HOT". It shocks me that women post pictures on MYSPACE in bikinis or less and well they DON'T have good figures. They have big bellies and flabby arms and legs...BUT..they also have big, round, fake looking D cup boobs...AND SOOO...many men think they are "BEAUTIFUL". WHAT?!?!

Okay girls, let me rewind and say this is NOT a post saying that we as women shouldn't put on a bikini unless we have tiny, perfect bodies. It is NOT a judgement against people that choose to have their breasts "augmented" or even women that choose LARGE implants. It is also NOT a post saying that women have to be perfect or flawless to be beautiful. It just seriously AMAZES me the POWER that boobs have over men. Boobs can be like "beer goggles". They make men think they are seeing something that they are NOT and they ENHANCE beauty that may or may not be there. And you know what else? Women KNOW it and USE it. I'm not tryin to be a hater...I KNOW how to use what I got. I may not have double Ds, but I've got enough to turn some heads in the right top. I also DON'T want people to love me or think I'm beautiful or special because of what's in my bra...which is the reason I have never posted anything like the pic above on myspace. (There's actually a funny story about my daughter thinking my shirt was funny when I got home from the gym and asking to take a picture of it. I said okay and pointed at my shirt. She's 9...and obviously shorter than me...I thought she was getting ALL of me...but she was focused in on my shirt...and in the end...when I pulled up the pic...THIS is what we got! ha!). Sorry to diverge but I had to ESS-SPLAIN this funny funny picture...anyways...I didn't wanna deal with the insincere people that I would get messages from if I ever posted anything like this. If someone wants to comment or think I look good...I want it to be because they really think that I am beautiful and not because they are blinded by body parts...the words wouldn't be for ME...they'd be for my boobs. I just wish I could help the men so easily affected by 2 balls of saline or silicone open their eyes and not be so blinded by the sight of cleavage. C'mon boys! Don't get yanked around...wake up! Take off the "boob goggles"!
I'm NOT condoning ANYTHING in this video! I just couldn't resist adding it because it reminded me of EXACTLY what I'm sayin! It's just too funny! (Sorry Dad! He is a big Bill O'Reilly fan and hates Ludacris. Luckily he doesn't read my blog or even know it exists. I don't even think he knows what a blog is...whew!)

Friday, November 7, 2008

...wHy i LoVe mEn...

I'm SO NOT a man hater! I love men. I relate better to men usually than I do to women. In fact...sometimes...I think I AM a man trapped in a woman's body...except for the liking girls bit...ewwww...no thanks! Anyways...this is why most of my friends are men and this what I love about them...

When men are mad...I mean REALLY mad...they just punch a wall, or break something, or hit the guy makin em mad in the face...they just get it out...and then it's done...over. We women hang on and hold a grudge. We smile to each other's faces and grumble, "B****" under our breath when you walk away.

Men don't gossip. They don't care what Joe wore to the party last night. They could care less if Bob has put on 10 pounds. This is not because they are better people...they just don't give a crap! We women gossip and hate on each other and judge and compare ourselves to every other person we see. We see their success as OUR failure. We whisper and call each other and notice EVERYTHING.

Men are not ashamed...of everything. If they fart...or burp...they laugh. If they need to spit or blow their noses...they do it...right out in the open...in front of...whoever. We women would die of embarrassment if a fart slipped out in "mixed company". Now, I'm not saying I like that or that I want to go around farting and spitting...and I'm NOT saying I want the men in my life to fart and spit in front of me...I SO appreciate it when they refrain! I'm just saying that I admire a man's ability to be...ummm..."comfortable in their own skin".

Men can laugh at each other and still be friends...trash talk and not get hurt feelings. In fact, sometimes, I think these are bonding experiences for them. If we women laugh at each other...that's the end...and trash talkin?!?...them's fightin words!

Men never really grow up. They still play video games and they never outgrow throwing balls and telling gross jokes. They find joy in these "small pleasures". Men can have fun doing nothing...they need no time or dress code. We women try to be serious...we need plans to have fun...we want to know what our friends are wearing and we want to make sure we all show up at the same time.

I could go on and on...but the fact is men and women are so different...and while I will admit that some of these things CAN get annoying...I love the men in my life...my family...my husband...my son...my friends.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

...sPeAk uP!...

I'll admit that I feel a bit defeated when it comes to this election. I feel almost certain that the person I am NOT voting for will be elected. I began to say to myself..."WHY BOTHER VOTING? WHY SHOULD I WASTE MY TIME VOTING ONLY TO FEEL IT WAS FOR NOTHING?" Pretty crappy attitude huh? I agree.

Most parents wish to raise their children to be stronger, smarter, better than they themselves are. I know I do. So what kind of defeatist attitude am I passing along if I behave this way?!? And SO...I took advantage of the opportunity to teach my children something else. I voted...and I was lucky enough to be able to take my 7 yr old that was playing "hooky" with me today along and teach him some important lessons.

We were talking over dinner last night about the candidates because they had a "mock election" at school and so all 3 of my kids experienced choosing a candidate and voting. J was very quiet while my girls were very opinionated. Then, he said very quietly..."I wish I could change my vote." I said, "Why?" "Because I voted for the wrong person." I told him that it was a personal choice and that he did not have to vote for the same person that we did. He said, "I still would change my vote."

Today as he and I walked out of the building I voted in, we talked about how important it is to vote...even if the person you choose is not elected. We talked about the fact that voting is your "voice"...your way of taking part in the way our country is run. He asked me who I voted for and I told him. He asked why and I explained that a person should learn about the candidates...what they stand for...and choose the person that will run the country the way they think is best. I gave him a few examples and he listened intently. He's such a smart little boy with an old soul. Just before we got to the car, he smiled and said, "Mom, I change my mind. If I were a grown up...I would still vote for the same guy...eventhough he's not your favorite." I stopped and hugged him and said, "That's ok. It's YOUR choice...YOUR vote...and I would love you no matter who you vote for." He smiled at me and we left. No matter the result...I'm so glad that I voted today...that I set an example for my children...and that used my "voice".

Saturday, November 1, 2008


The whole "cougar phenomenon" is so strange to me. I mean I understand how older women would find younger men attractive, but it blows my mind that a younger man would want an older woman. I mean I've read and been told by my friends that the attraction to older older women comes from the fact that we (older women) know what we want...we are less drama (supposedly)...and there are less long term expectations...yada yada yada...but really...CMON...seriously?

I am in great shape for my age (I HATE that term "for your age" by the way), but I CANNOT compete with the tight skin and firm body of a 20 year old. I don't know...maybe other women my age are better preserved. Last night, I was invited to my friends going away/Halloween party. The one stipulation was that I HAD to wear a costume. So I went to look at costumes. They were all either UGLY...or SLUTTY. I should say that most of my friends are guys from the gym that I work with or their friends...ages...23-29...much younger than my 39 years. My husband was staying home with our kids and wasn't thrilled that I was going, but he knew it was important to me and he knew I would be a "good girl". When he was airing his concerns...it hit me! I KNEW exactly what I could be for Halloween. It would be just enough of a costume to get by...not slutty lookin...cute...and funny...just what I wanted.

I put on tight jeans...a black shirt...fuzzy ears...and attached a tail to the back of my jeans. A cat you ask? No...a COUGAR! I personally thought it was a hilariously clever idea...a play on words...and I was going to a party with a bunch of young guys...and I was going to be the oldest person there..by at LEAST 10 years. It took my husband a while to warm up to the idea. I think it made him nervous...but he relented. All my friends and the other people LOVED it and thought it was so funny. The interesting part was that I had more clothes on...BY FAR...than ANY other girl there...but interestingly enough...I think I looked just as sexy or sexier than any other girl there.

Maybe that's where the "cougar appeal" comes in. As an older woman I recognize that being sexy...attractive to men...is about more than taking your clothes off...it's about using what you got...and being confident enough to do so. I'm married so the point is mute...but even if I weren't...I still don't think I could ever be a cougar...but it was fun to "play one" for the night. "Mee-owW!"