Sunday, August 24, 2008

...LiVe LiFe aNd LaUgH tHe sTrEss aWaY...

Everyone feels the effects of stress at times. I know I do. I haven't worked...at a job I get paid for that is...in 11 years. I quit to be a full time Mom when my oldest daughter was 1 and a half. That's what I've done...I've been a Mom...and since my kids are all in school now...I've been a "lady of leisure" at times. I got up, got kids off to school, went to workout...for however long I chose (usually a couple of hours), came home and blogged while I ate a post workout snack, took a shower, and then lunched with my Mom or sister and shopped...or got my nails done...or my hair...or whatever I wanted to do until later in the afternoon when it was time to get back to being...Mom.

My brain was turning to mush. I NEEDED to do something. The thing is...I don't NEED to work...and I don't NEED the money...what I NEED is something of my own...somewhere that I need to be. I NEEDED to get out of my easy, lazy, comfort zone and stretch myself...explore the possibilities. So, at the suggestion of some friends...I headed down the path to becoming a personal trainer. Working out is what I love. There have been days in my life where it was the only thing I looked forward to...the only thing that made me happy. It's been a tough transition for me to go from trainEE to trainER. Not because I don't know form or exercises...because I struggle with confidence. I come off like I'm secure...but it's a mask to cover the way I REALLY feel most of the time. I went to school...I took a test...I spent a lot of time watching and learning...I went to a specialized certification...and now I'm working. I don't have many clients so I don't work many hours...just a few hours...a few days a week. Still at times I feel stress. I wonder if I'm doing a good job. I worry that my kids will need me when I'm gone. Sometimes...when I have to be at the gym at 6 A.M to cover a class....I feel exhausted. I wonder if I should go back to the days of long walks through the mall with shopping bags in both hands and pedicures...the days when I had nowhere to be...and all day to get there. I'd feel less stress, but I know I wouldn't be happy.

If I could create a perfect little world...one that ran by MY rules...I make sure that I never have to feel stressed...but I don't live in a perfect world. I know that I cannot escape worry...or fatigue...or stress. There is no magic pill. And although, stress will creep into my life many more times before my life is over...there is something that can help. I saw this commercial the other night and it made me think. It's really a retirement commercial, but the sound of that baby laughing helped me realize that there is a cure of sorts. It may not be permanent, but it will almost always help take the stress or sadness or frustration away. It's laughter.

It has been said that "People don't stop laughing and having fun because they get old...they get old because they stop laughing and having fun!" Who knows if that is true...but what do I have to lose by trying. So the next time my day sucks...the next time I trip...or lose my keys...or embarrass myself...or just screw up in general...maybe I'll try laughing. It may not fix the problem, but it sure can't make things worse either. Just think how amazing life could be if something as simple as tearing paper made us laugh like that baby...

2 comments:

s said...

hey lady. i love that baby. i saw that the other night as well & thought it was so precious. i love how it's just tearing paper that makes the baby laugh too. you are so right. you needed something for you! it's not just for you because your children will learn that valuable lesson as well. something that we obviously missed out on. this lady on the olympics reminded me the other day when she was interviewed for getting medals in the most sports. she had to go to therapy because she is early 40's, not married, with no kids and felt like a failure. the dr. reminded her - who says that you have to do those things? you make up your own life. besides, you are way too talented to keep all your talents to yourself. you are awesome and you needed to share that with more people. i love you and am so proud of you, s

MC said...

Thanks, sis. I know what you mean about fitting in where we think we are supposed to. I'm coming to grips with the fact that I am NOT like most Moms in the PTA...that was obvious to me as I dropped kids off for the first day of school this morning...but I'm learning to be okay with it! I am who I am...I love my kids...and they love me back. It's okay for me to like lifting weights while other Moms like to scrapbook. I know you don't believe it, but you are such an example of dedication and strength to me.
Loves,
~M