Do you ever feel invisible? Sometimes I do. At times, I can be physically surrounded by people and feel all alone. Those days are not fun. They envelope me...and the feelings that accompany them seem to seep into aspects of my life that are unrelated. Today I was alone most of the day. It really got to me during lunch. I sat and watched groups and couples eat...and I... was all alone. Then I went to a high end furniture store. I walked in expecting the whole, "Hi Maam. Is there anything I can help you find?" pitch. I was dressed nice...having a good hair day...glossy lips...everything just so. I heard the sales associates ask other shoppers that...but not me. I was in there and passed 4 different workers. Not ONE said a word to me. I caught myself spiraling into a depression. Suddenly, I felt like I have no friends...like nobody loves me...like a failure. I let every insecurity...every fear overtake me. I wandered around...miserable...and then I looked at my watch. I realized that school was out, so I went home to be with my kids. In their eyes, I am important ...special ...beautiful. I had a hard day, but as soon as I felt my daughter's arms around my waist...hugging me...looking up at me with love...suddenly I did not feel invisible anymore.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
...iNviSibLe...
Do you ever feel invisible? Sometimes I do. At times, I can be physically surrounded by people and feel all alone. Those days are not fun. They envelope me...and the feelings that accompany them seem to seep into aspects of my life that are unrelated. Today I was alone most of the day. It really got to me during lunch. I sat and watched groups and couples eat...and I... was all alone. Then I went to a high end furniture store. I walked in expecting the whole, "Hi Maam. Is there anything I can help you find?" pitch. I was dressed nice...having a good hair day...glossy lips...everything just so. I heard the sales associates ask other shoppers that...but not me. I was in there and passed 4 different workers. Not ONE said a word to me. I caught myself spiraling into a depression. Suddenly, I felt like I have no friends...like nobody loves me...like a failure. I let every insecurity...every fear overtake me. I wandered around...miserable...and then I looked at my watch. I realized that school was out, so I went home to be with my kids. In their eyes, I am important ...special ...beautiful. I had a hard day, but as soon as I felt my daughter's arms around my waist...hugging me...looking up at me with love...suddenly I did not feel invisible anymore.
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2 comments:
i feel the same way most of the time too. i wish i could have gone to lunch with you because you know i would if i could. just need to find my own sugar daddy, oops did i say that out loud? just kidding too much trouble, way more than their worth (men, i mean). you are my best friend forever. you go sassy pants! love you, s
I know you woulda been there if you could and I woulda LOVED it! You are my best friend too...always have been...always will be.
Luvs,
M
PS...Be careful what you wish for...the sugar daddy I mean ;) hee hee!
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