The other day, I stopped off at Walmart to grocery shop after working at the gym. I was...of course...in workout clothes. I knew I'd get a few looks, but I didn't think it would be too bad. I mean I was totally covered up. There was no tummy showing...and my boobs were nicely contained IN my tank top.
Now...I have been teased before at the gym about my tight pants. In fact, a couple of years ago, a guy from the gym joked on Halloween that he had the perfect costume. He said he could go as me, because it would be so easy. I said, "How is that easy?!?!" He said, "All I need is a blonde wig and some skin tight spandex pants!" I said, "PUH-LEAZZZZ! You also need lipgloss!!!" and we all died laughing.
So back to the present...grocery shopping at the red neck hell hole known as Walmart... I walked in w my sister, K, on my cell phone. Sometimes I can be so codependent! I didn't wanna grocery shop alone so I talked to her the whole time on the phone. I'd shop...complain about how bad I hate to grocery shop...chat about random things...and then ever so often I'd say "What is WRONG with these people?!?!" She'd reply, "What? What happened?". I said, "This man and woman are staring at me like I'm NAKED! What is their problem? I'm fully clothed in a tank top, with a thin jacket hanging open, capri pants and flip flops!" The same cycle would repeat...over and over and over again.
300$ later...I headed to my car...STILL on the phone with my sister...loaded all my groceries up and headed home. When I got there, we hung up, and K came out to help me carry all the bags in. I hopped out, grabbed some bags , and headed in the house with her behind me. All the sudden I hear my sister say, "LADY!!! I've had to listen to you talk about people staring...stopping conversations to stare...and all around making fools of themselves and you wonder why?!?!" I said, "WHAT?!?! It's only workout clothes." Her hands went to her hips and laughing she said, "LOOK AT THE PANTS YOU'RE WEARING! Those are tight and look hot!" I laughed and said, "Laaaaaaaaa! (as if the angels were singing) BEHOLD! THE POWER OF SPANDEX!" and we cracked up laughing as we carried the rest of my groceries in.
Later that night...after my last class at work...STILL wearing the same pants...I met my husband and kids for dinner. After a few similar experiences, it was then that I decided that these pants hold some serious power. Superman may have super human strength. The Invisible Woman may be able to disappear, and Spiderman may be able to climb walls and shoot webs, but they got nothin on me and my spandex pants. I was able to make people's heads move...stop conversations...confuse one guy to the point of speechlessness...and control people's thoughts...all with a small pair of pants! BEHOLD! THE POWER OF SPANDEX!