Thursday, March 5, 2009

...i tHinK i hAd a bReAktHroUgH!...

I write about it ALL the time (especially on my other blog)...I've written about how I struggle to see the same reflection in the mirror that others see...about how I never feel like I look good enough. Needless to say, "swimsuit weather" gets me a little nervous. I start to worry about how I'll look on the beach and I pick myself apart and expect perfection. When people stare at the beach, I get really uncomfortable and anxious because I assume it's a BAD thing. Yep...can you say "issues"?

So anyway, today I was at the mall and these 2 bikinis caught my eye as I walked by...actually they didn't just catch my eye...they lassoed me and drug me over to them. They were so unusual...sooooo cute. I wanted to try them on but I was thinking, "Maybe this isn't such a good idea...what if they look 'bad' and then I'm all depressed and down on myself for the rest of the day?". Being the masochist that I am...I grabbed the 2 suits and went in to the fitting room.What happened next was really strange. I put one on...and I like it. I mean, I didn't JUST like the suit...I liked ME IN the suit! Hmmm....musta been a fluke or somethin...I put the other one on...that happened to be yellow...and was thinkin..."WOW! I look good!" borrow a phrase from stylist extraordinaire Rachel Zoe...I looked "BANANAS!" (that's a really good thing)

I liked THIS top with the bottoms below (wasn't feelin a skirt!Okay so the point of all this is NOT to brag or tell everyone how good I looked. It's not to prove that hard work pays off. It's to prove that maybe I can be cured of the way I've been towards myself in the past...okay and the present...maybe I CAN start to see myself the way everyone else does in the future. I think I had a little breakthrough today!

*and just for the record...I filled that suit out much better than that skinny minnie model on top! ;) 


s said...

That's GREAT! I love to hear that you are having a breakthrough, finally. you are one hot lady and i mean it! This seriously just made my day. i'm sure you looked so good in that black one. that is SO you. fyi: (they have matching flip flops at target right now). i look at that suit and that is exactly YOU! glad you found it, sis. now work it, own it! ;p

MC said...

SOOOOOO funny Sis! You know me TOO well! I WANTED to LOVE the yellow one...and I did...but I was so drawn to the black one! 200$ for that sucka!!!! But I think I'm gonna go get it with my next check! Little worried about boobage flyin out, but damn it looks SO hot on! Get out your fire extinguishers gentleman! Ha Ha! I'm SOOOOO kidding