...bALLeR!...

I shopped with my sis, S yesterday. We haven't done that in FOREVER and we had so much fun! I love to shop...and I don't need ANY encouragement to buy things...but TODAY she encouraged me...and so the story unfolds...

I met my sis, S for lunch and shopping. We started in Nordstrom as I had already looked at Dillard's and Macy's and found NOTHING I liked for my friend, W's wedding. First we looked around the shoe dept at all the FABULOUS shoes. We milled around holding up shoes to show each other. Now the funny part about this is you could not find 2 more different people when it comes to shoes than me and my sis, S. She goes for classic, flat shoes...Uggs... She likes shoes, but she doesn't LOVE them...not like I do. Me...I find the highest, most over the top shoes I can and I form an emotional attachment to them...I fall in LOVE with them. Suddenly...it happened...I looked up and saw them...the most BEAUTIFUL pair of red heels...and the most AMAZING boots I have EVER seen on one table!ME: "OMG! S! Those shoes are amazing! They have to be by my favorite shoe designer EVER! I KNOW those are Donald Pliner shoes and boots!

S: pause...blank look like...is she for real?!?

ME: rushing over to snatch them up..."I KNEW IT!!! They ARE Donald Pliner! I bet they are ridiculously expensive!"
turning the boot over..."695 DOLLARS!!! But they are the most fabulous boots ever! Gosh, I wish I was rich!" I put them down...carefully..."Well, we better do what we came here to do! Let's go upstairs and look at dresses!"

S: "OK..."

Somehow...we ended up in the designer jeans dept. It was like a magnetic force field sucked us right in! Now...I LOVE jeans...they are practically all I wear...but I've NEVER been one to spend a lot of money on them...not because I can't afford it...but because it seemed like a waste. We looked at all the jeans and seemed to spend most of our time where they had the 7 For All Mankind jeans. I figured...What the heck! I'll try some on for fun! That's a bad strategy girls! It's like saying I'll do crack just this once for fun...next thing you know you've got a "habit" that costs you thousands of dollars. So I tried on the first pair...pretty cute...I could probably live without em. I tried on the next pair...Oh, no. Those didn't work because they had no stretch and I have to have stretch or jeans won't go over my legs because they are too big in relation to the size of my waist. Then...I did it...I tried a pair on...it was love. But I was like, I can't spend $200.00 on ONE PAIR OF JEANS!!!

I took them off and tried on the dresses I had to choose from. That was weird. Nothing was fitting well. Finally I tried on a dress that my sis and I agreed was "THE ONE". But there they were...still hanging up...the jeans. "I'll just try them one ONE MORE time.", I told my sis. I tried to talk myself out of them...but they has the cutest silver "7"s on the pockets...and they felt SO good...

ME: "I can't buy these because then ANY time I wear a cheaper pair of jeans...."

S: "Those will be in your closet...crying?!?"

ME: "NO...well, YES...well, NO...it's just that I'll always be wanting to wear these...everyday!"

S: "I would too."

ME: "Crap! I have the money from working, but...I'm scared...200 DOLLARS?!?!..."

S; "You deserve it! GO FOR IT Missy! (My 2 sisters and I call each other "Missy"...I don't know why...it's not any of our names!) BUY EM!"

ME: "Are you sure they look okay? What about my butt? Do they look like they are squeezing my legs?..."

S: "I hate you." (said in the most loving way of course)

ME: "Okay!"...(pause)..."I'm gonna do it!"

We gathered up my stuff and hurried out to see what the crazy sorority girl looked like that we kept hearing make stupid comments and went to the register. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach...was I really about to do this?!?! "Okay..." I told myself..."Pull it together! You want these! You have the money! RELAX!" I nonchalantly laid 2 pairs of jeans and a dress on the counter. "That will be 461 dollars." I heard the clerk say. HOLY S***!!! I remained unfazed on the outside and went to get my card out.

ME: "Oh CRAP! I left my AMEX at home and my Mastercard is in the car from when I got Sonic for the kids last night!"

(For a split second, I thought I had a way out...but then I realized that I DIDN'T want "out". I get up early...I stress over doing the best job I can for my clients...I clean up after everyone...I WORK HARD, DANG IT!!! I'M GETTIN THESE JEANS!!!")

ME: "Excuse me, Can I just write you a check since I don't have my cards on me? Will that be a problem to write a check for that much?"

CLERK: "Uhhh. Sure . No problem at all.

(with a crazy, stunned look on her face)

"WE ARE NORDSTROM'S! (said proudly as if she were repeating the pledge of allegiance) We take EVERYTHING!

The funniest things was that when I asked about writing a check and the girl looked a little shocked...I got out pen and my checkbook and looked over at my sister who said in the funniest, loud way..."BALLA! (baller)". Jeez, I felt like a "baller"...if an almost 40 yr old Mom can even call herself that! I wrote out the check...feeling sick...and exhilarated...and happy all at the same time...probably much the same feeling as a person gets the first time they try drugs. At first it's uncomfortable...scary even...and then...it just feels GOOD. And when I roll outta town this week...with my new jeans on my butt...that's what I'm gonna think..."Balla!"

...Now I gotta figure out a way to get those boots! ;)

..."tHeSe aRe a fEw oF mY fAvoRiTe tHiNgS"...

...A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS (in NO particular order)...




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~SHOES!!!
specifically:
-my tall "croc embossed" boots (I can't wait till it's cold enough to wear em again"
price = $120.00
-my black Donald Pliner boots (He makes AMAZING shoes...that I can't afford)
price = $300.00 (the most expensive shoes I own)
-any super high, cute wedges (like the new ones that I just got on sale at Dillard's last week...they are COMPLETELY impractical being that they are pink and yellow and green plaid with a 4 inch wedge...but OH SO CUTE!)
price= normally $79.00...on clearance for $19.00!!!
-pointy toed, high heels that make me look super tall
PRICE = $20.00 and up~going out feeling HOT in my heels
$PRICELESS
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~JEANS (I can NEVER have too many!!! I am thinking about splurging on some Seven For All Mankind for the fall...but it's hard to drop that kinda cash on jeans.)
PRICE=anywhere from $30.00 to $300.00 depending on the brand~Knowing my butt looks GREAT in my jeans
$PRICELESS
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~my MAC (17 inch widescreen MacBook Pro)
PRICE=$2,799...(worth every penny)~Reconnecting with friends and family...BLOGGING...watching GYM JONES or CROSSFIT videos on my MAC
$PRICELESS
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~ACCESSORIES! (purses...jewelry...belts...THESE THINGS can make the difference in looking good, and looking GREAT! I have hooks ALL OVER my closet to hang belts and purses on, which is why my brother called me a "HOOKER" the day he came to hang them up. Gotta a love big brothers!)
PRICE = from $10.00 on up
~Feeling PERECTLY PUT TOGETHER...
$PRICELESS
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~FOOD from my favorite Mexican Restaurant MARIANO'S
PRICE = approx $20.00~LUNCH with a friend...good conversation...laughter
$PRICELESS
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~Good running shoes
PRICE = approx $100.00~a PERFECT run (one with my friend W or one where the temperature is just right and I feel like I could run without stopping forever!)
$PRICELESS
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~Playing DOMINOES (esp "Mexican Train")
PRICE = $10.00~Spending time with my FAMILY
$PRICELESS
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~Going to the GYM
PRICE = $20.00 - $60.00 a month depending on the gym~Feeling STRONG and UNSTOPPABLE when I'm faster than than "the boys" at the gym (which doesn't happen too often)
$PRICELESS
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~My CHILDREN
PRICE = 9 months of pregnancy...excrutiating pain and $5,000 dollars for delivery...lots of hard work, tears, and laughter...$35.00 a month for school lunch...$70.00 a month for swim team...$150.00 for soccer (uniform/cost to play/etc)...back to school clothes $500.00...PTA membership $6.00 a yr...birthday parties $$$$$...Nanny approx $20,000 a yr...college $$$thousands...weddings $$$ thousands...etc etc etc~all of the notes taped to my mirror that say "I love you, Mom!"...endless kisses and hugs...pride when they score a goal, finish a race, or do something kind...
$PRICELESS
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*I had the week from HELL...I can't point to one particular thing that made it so...but I've felt down...ALOT. After compiling this list, I realize how lucky I am...and how "rich" my life is. So to the VERY few people that read this...I recommend that you do the same...it's amazing how much better you'll feel! I'm goin to shop and eat lunch!

...yOu kNoW yOu aRe geTTiNg oLd wHeN...

Today, I'm a mess. I look like what I call "the ass end of hard times" (excuse my french). My hair is stringy. My face looks dull and my belly is "poochy" from too many pancakes at IHOP. I'm sleepy and cranky and I can't seem to take a joke. My 12 year old daughter once called me a "FUN-SUCKER", because she said I "suck the fun out of everything". I was highly offended and I would normally disagree...but I think the title is fitting today. It makes me feel old. Actually, with my 39th birthday fast approaching...I feel like I AM getting old...and if any of these things that I am about to describe apply to you...chances are...you are getting old too!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE GETTING OLD WHEN...

*You hear the song "1985" by Bowling for Soup and you think..."WOW! Is that song about ME?"

*You can't tell how old people are...all you know is they ALL look younger than you.


*You lie on a bed...head practically hanging upside down...and look into a mirror to see if you look better with gravity pulling your face back.

*You say words like "grody".

*You can say the lines of movies like Sixteen Candles" ("Whats a happenin, Hot Stuff!")..."St. Elmo's Fire" (KIRBY! You'll freeze to death!")..."Say Anything" ("I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.") or "Breakfast Club" ("You mess with the bull, you'll get the horns!") right along with the characters...AND you still laugh...every time.

*You complain of knee and hip pain...and your joints sound like Rice Krispies...snap! crackle! pop!...when you move too quickly or you bend down to pick something up off the floor.

*You are asked if you're eligible for the "SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNT" at Ross on a Tuesday by a moron behind the counter with a double digit I.Q....I mean seriously! I don't look a day over 40! (j/k...I'm 38 and that IS a TRUE story...one that nearly caused me to commit an assault!)

*You can't watch a movie on DVD past 9 pm without falling asleep.

*You are too TIRED to go to the mall (that's just sad!).

The fact is...most people say I look younger than my age...and I work hard to maintain ANY semblance of my youth. Somedays, I feel young...vibrant...strong. Others...like today...I feel old. I'm gonna go watch "Weird Science" or somethin.

...gO oR gEt oFF tHe pOt!...

Do you ever have days where you can't seem to decide what to do...what you like...who you want to do what with...etc etc etc? Do you have people like this in your life? You never know what to expect. They are hot and cold...but never in between. This is where certain expressions like...COOK OR GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!...JUST DO IT!...GO OR GET OFF THE POT!...come to mind.I really like consistency. I like to KNOW what will happen. I like to KNOW what I can expect out of my friends and family. This is NOT to say I like to always do the SAME THING or that I don't want to shake things up from time to time...it just means that I don't like to be left wondering. I don't like expecting a person to react or behave a certain way and then have them do the complete opposite. It's like living in The Twilight Zone where nothing is as it should be...and as you can probably guess...The Twilight Zone ALWAYS scared me.So, if you are in my life and you love me or even care about me in the least...PROVE IT!...SHOW IT!...BE THERE!...or LEAVE.

...gUiTaR hErO wiDoW...

I have been married for 17 years to a great guy. He loves me (not the easiest feat most of the time) and I love him. In some ways, we are similar...but in others...we are complete opposites. Just like every couple that has been together for a long time...we've gone through times of ease and happiness and love...and we have stuck it out through some tough times and differing opinions. As much as I'd like to tell you that we are as passionate as we were in college...when we started dating...I have to admit that 3 kids...a demanding work schedule (his)...and many years together have changed a few things...like the way we spend our nights and weekends.Some men go out with their friends. They drink...they play poker...they camp and hunt with their buddies. My husband has never been one to do those things. If he isn't at work...he's at home with me or with the kids...not because I demand or require that...because he chooses to. In fact, I have encouraged him many times to go do things HE wants to do. Some women probably worry about what their husbands are doing when they are gone...they may wonder where their husbands are at 2 AM on a Friday night. I NEVER wonder. I know. He's standing in the family room with a tiny plastic guitar across his chest rockin out to GUITAR HERO. At times in the past...I have thought that it looks a little ridiculous...this uber smart, serious, 6 ft 5in man...concentrating on hitting the right notes on primary colored plastic buttons...trying to beat Slash in a face off with guitar notes.Sometimes I refer to myself as a "GUITAR HERO widow". Sometimes I wonder..."Aren't I sexy enough to compete with a plastic guitar and some cheesy graphics?" I remind myself that he loves me...and that really it is just a refreshing break from his highly stressful, ultra serious job as a partner at an investment firm. I’m happy that he has a way to release the stress and I know that he enjoys it, so I am okay with him playing GUITAR HERO...even if it does mean I'm sleeping alone most Fridays...

..."tHiS iS wHy i'M hOt"...

I SO want to be "HOT"!!!...I always have...sadly I never really felt truly "HOT"...especially when I was in high school and college. This will come as a shock to those that know me and put up with my self loathing on a daily basis...HOWEVER...I feel the hottest at almost 39 than I have in my life. You ask why...

Maybe it's because I'm in the best physical shape of my life. Is my body all I wish it could be??? No, but it's close. I'm not embarrassed to be naked...pretty good for a middle aged Mom. Maybe it's because I am financially able to take good care of myself...nails...pedicures...tanning...teeth whitening...cute clothes. Maybe it's all a matter of comparison...A LOT of Moms my age...well, they wear sweats or ill fitting clothing...they give everything to their kids at the expense of their health and happiness...they get lazy and figure there's no need for makeup or high heels when you stay home. Not me! I am a good Mom and a loving wife, but I take care of myself. I have found that when I do this, I am happier and in turn MY FAMILY IS HAPPIER TOO! I don't care if my only outings are to Target or Chick Fil A or the soccer fields. I dress like I'll be seen by all...makeup...tight jeans...heels. So what if I get a little mud on my heels as they sink into thew soccer field...I feel good when I look good. I freshen my makeup and I avoid pony tails. Does this mean that I think I'm perfect...or more beautiful than other women? No, not at all...I have no specials skills or qualities...ANYONE can do what I do.
The older I get...the more I realize that being HOT is NOT about perfection or a beautiful face. It's not about being a perfect size 2. It's not about a face without wrinkles. Being HOT is being the best possible version of yourself. It's about finding jeans that make your butt look good...size 2 and perky...or size 20 and..not so perky. Being HOT is about confidence...it's a state of mind. Remember the "hot cheerleader" in high school?...the one that was not really pretty...or skinny...or nice...still EVERYONE thought she was HOT. I see an ex cheerleader from my high school around town and she's nothing special...yet she still prances around...nose in the air...thinkin she's "hot s*** on a shingle". It's not because she looks better that people put her on a pedestal...then and now...it's because she carries herself as such and people buy it.

It was and is all about how we see ourselves. I personally get embarrassed when a strange man compliments me in a store. It happens from time to time and I just want to crawl under a rock when it happens. WHY?!? I feel guilty when other women's husbands look my way. I'm ashamed when other women...ones in sweats and pony tails...glare at me like I'm somehow doing something to THEM when I walk past...tight jeans...cute top...high heels...and hair styled. I need to be done with that. From now on, I need to hold my head high and when I face these "HATERS"...I will sing a little song in my head..."THIS IS WHY I'M HOT. THIS IS WHY I'M HOT. THIS IS WHY...THIS IS WHY...THIS IS WHY I'M HOT. I'M HOT CUZ I'M FLY! YOU AIN'T CUZ YOU NOT! THIS IS WHY...THIS IS WHY...THIS IS WHY I'M HOT!"