My friend once said, "My music is the soundtrack of my life." I've often thought that it would be so cool to have music play in the background...as I go through my day...just like in the movies. Music is so powerful...it can enlighten...it can enrage...it can calm...it can motivate...it can bring out a whole range of emotions...and it can bring the most complicated situation into focus.
I like all kinds of music and I listen to music a lot. Everyday while I put on make up and do my hair...everyday when I do my cardio...everyday in the car...I listen to music. I'm going through some inner turmoil and confusion. I feel drained and I almost feel like I've forgotten who I am in my quest to become more. I was on the phone with my husband the other day and I said, "I just need a break...I just need to loosen the noose...". I immediately thought of a line in a song that I like to listen to when I workout..."The Best Of You" by The Foo Fighters. This song is truly the soundtrack of how I feel right now.
Once...a long time ago...when I was working out...my friend told me to jump up, grab the pull up bar, get my chin over, and hang with my legs straight for as long as I could. I did...and I struggled and winced and squirmed to keep my chin above the bar as soon as it got uncomfortable. Another trainer and his client were watching me. When I fell from the bar and got ready to try again, the other trainer said, "Don't screw up your face and wiggle your legs. When you do that, you take the energy that you need to hold yourself up and transfer it somewhere else." What a metaphor for life. I'm taking the energy that I NEED...to improve myself...and I'm using it to struggle in the attempt to "hang on"...when if I would let the pain and fear and frustration go...I would have what I need "to keep my chin up" and hang on a little longer. I've been giving away the best of me...
TODAY I'M TAKING IT BACK.